THE CIVIL SERVANTS' BANK
MAKE MONEY WITH US
- Bloody good, Egon. - Isn't it too dangerous?
No, any idiot can rob a bank.
Now, hold your horses, we have to do it properly.
The operation starts just before closing time, 5:48 pm.
Benny keeps the engine running, Keld keeps watch.
TAKE ONLY THE BEST
Hey!
THE OLSEN GANG IN A FIX
- What's up? - Maybe he's taking a leak.
- Or maybe he's picking up a broad. - Borge!
- Wow! - I told you.
Are they your friends? You must be careful in your choice of friends.
The right environment is important when you get attached to someone.
This is Benny.
Keld... and Borge.
- Miss Bodil Hansen. - Mr. Olsen told me all about you.
I know it's difficult but we must co-operate and help Mr. Olsen.
Right.
We mustn't force Mr. Olsen to do something we know is wrong, right?
Who? Me?
Goodbye for now, Olsen. I'm sure you'll be up to your old tricks soon.
- But leave the banks to the pros. - No, we can count on Mr. Olsen now.
We'll see about that. But I'll be keeping an eye on you.
If you get any ideas we'll catch you, don't you worry.
- Borge! - Really, Mr. Olsen.
- I'm awfully sorry. Let me... - I can manage.
No, just leave it to me.
There you go.
- Can I give you a lift, Miss Hansen? - Yes. Drop by tomorrow, Mr. Olsen.
- I'm placing my trust in you. - Thank you.
- Here you are. - I didn't know you had girls in jail.
- Miss Hansen is a lady. - Are broads part of the program?
- It's not like that. - What's it like then?
Let me be straight with you.
- What on earth are you saying? - Crime doesn't pay.
- What's the plan then? - We're going to work.
We're going to make an honest living.
Miss Hansen is going to find us a job so we'll be resocialized.
- But we were counting on you. - And we have a great scam.
Harry, my brother, just returned from Sweden. We have a great scam.
We're badly in need of money. Everything's so expensive.
I don't understand why a young girl like yourself from a good family...
He's a typical example of how the environment affects one's character.
My thesis about Egon Olsen's life confirms all modern theories.
I was her exam paper. We graduated with honors.
I pointed out how crime compensates for an unfulfilled sex life.
Let me show you something.
- What are we gonna do? - He's just got the jail jitters.
We'll fix Egon up with a beer and a broad and then do Harry's scam.
You're wrong.
She taught me the true values of life. I promised her not to break the law.
It means a lot to her.
Welcome just the same, Egon.
In a way I understand you. You're not 20 anymore.
It's time to plan your retirement.
But poor Dynamite Harry.
He's really been looking forward to it. He'll be devastated.
HARRY FRANDSEN -ANTREPRENUR EXPERT & FIREWORKER
- Calm down, Harry. - Shut up. I'll teach the little runt!
Maybe it's just a phase. You can count on me, Harry.
I don't give a damn about you. Only about the genius.
He'll probably be all right in a couple of days.
No, she opened my eyes. I won't do it anymore.
Crime doesn't pay.
I'll have another.
Broads and social swindlers and all that crap.
Christ! It's sad, that's what it is.
No, it's a great joy. I wish you would understand.
It's sad! All the pros are disappearing. Only the lousy amateurs are left.
When was the last time you saw a safe being blasted properly, eh?
Smalltime banks and fiddlesticks!
I learned from my mistakes.
Call that a bank robbery? Any idiot can do that.
- Give me good craftsmanship. - It wasn't my fault. I planned it.
- Christ, the man's a nervous wreck. - It'll pass, Harry.
You have my deepest sympathy, pal. Get well soon. Come along, Benny.
- Coming, Harry. - It's a damn tragedy!
I have to go with him. I promised.
See you. Keep smiling.
- I'd better get home to Yvonne. - I'm going with you.
- Where? - To your house.
- I can sleep on the couch, can't I? - Sure.
I just have to ask Yvonne first. And I'm late already, so...
But tomorrow. I'll ask her.
I promise.
I'm off then.
- It was your treat, right? - Sure.
- That'll be 74.50. - Put it on the tab.
- Have you got a job? - Sure. A steady job.
Sorry. People with steady jobs have to pay up.
I'm sorry, but I have my principles.
WELCOME EGON 00 TIMES IN -10 TIMES OUT
PRISON AFTERCARE
Thank you, Mr. Olsen, it's lovely.
- Is it for me? - I made it myself.
- It doesn't look like the rest. - I wanted it to be something special.
- Did you get along with your friends? - I don't have any friends anymore.
- What do you mean? - I've changed my environment.
It's very brave of you. Excellent. We'll manage, won't we?
Yes.
We just have to stick together, you and I.
- Everything's going to be all right. - Everything's going to be alright.
Now, let's find you a job.
I have just the thing for you and your talents.
Happiness is neither goods nor gold
happiness is neither grandeur nor glory
happiness is found in the smallest of things
happiness is harvesting the fruit of labor
happiness is rooted in honesty
contentment is better than riches
happiness is being true to yourself
never forget the riches of life
2.13 kroner. Really, Keld...
- What am I gonna do? - Find a job!
Everybody else has a job. Even Egon's got a steady income.
- Hello, Egon. How's life? - Fine, thank you.
Thanks.
Is that you, dear? Oh, isn't it wonderful?
- Look here. - Clever boy!
You must be tired. Borge! Come and sit down, dear.
- Here are your slippers. - You don't have to.
You've had a hard day. Come along, Borge.
Comfy now?
Here's the paper. And a nice little cigar.
- Let me light it for you. - Thank you.
- Borge! - It isn't cold enough yet.
- And a nice beer. - Thanks, it's nice and cold.
No, it isn't. It's only been in there for half an hour.
- That's just fine. - In where?
- In the refrigerator. - They just delivered it an hour ago.
- Did we buy a refrigerator? - Yes, isn't it wonderful?
- Yes, but... - And guess what else?
Look.
- It's a color TV, too. - Can we afford it?
Sure, as long as your husband has a steady job, everyone's so helpful.
But you mustn't use your pay...
Don't mention it. Besides, I have only myself to spend it on.
- Do you like your new job? - Yes. The boss greeted me in person.
- He spotted me instantly. May I? - By all means.
- How's your job? - I'm all set for my doctoral thesis.
- All I need is the right subject. - If I can help in any way...
Mr. Olsen, you really are the sweetest man.
Hello. Oh, am I interrupting something?
This is for you. Oh, you've got one already... We do have a date?
- But I suppose it can wait. Hello. - Mr. Olsen was kind enough...
- I suppose we'll see you soon... - No, you won't.
- Mr. Olsen knows crime doesn't pay. - Thank you.
What the hell's keeping you?
My plan calls for you to start at 11:38.
Stop bossing me around. A beer?
- Lousy amateur! - I tripped.
Nitroglycerine is expensive stuff. Don't throw it all over the place.
Ouch!
- What a bang! - Well, you should've heard...
We'd better get to it. Work, work, work!
- Let's do it another day. - Nonsense. It'll be a blast.
Come on, you old heap of junk!
Harry, maybe I ought to...
Nonsense! I drive better when I'm tight.
Let's go!
You'd better take the wheel.
Here you go.
Well, Harry. Is it difficult?
Shut up and let me think.
- The boss needs absolute silence. - Right.
This is the difficult part.
- Ready, Harry? - Shut up.
I just need a little swig.
The boss turned all blue in the face.
- Egon told him to shut up. - I'm no pushover.
- I'll put it on the tab, right? - Then we just walked out of there.
Cheers, it's great to see you again.
But what are we gonna do? I've got all these bills...
- Egon will come up with something. - Just give me some time.
- Sure. This is great. - I know where there is a safe...
This time we're gonna plan it properly.
- Proper management's the thing. - And Egon's our man.
- We'll see. - What's going on, Mr.. Olsen?
- What's this I hear? - Hey, sit down.
A drink for the lady. Miss Hansen has been a great help.
Down the hatch.
A swig of beer will clear your throat.
I demand an explanation! The factory called me. What a mess.
- How could you, Mr. Olsen? - I couldn't help it.
I hadn't thought that about you. The others, maybe, but not you.
After all we've had.
- I don't know how to... - Can you give me an explanation?
- You got Mr. Olsen into this mess. - Yes, you did!
- It's all your fault! - But I didn't...
You ruined everything. What am I gonna tell Yvonne?
She's so happy. And it costs... each and every week.
- Come on, Keld. - Shame on you!
- You betrayed your friends' trust. - I guess it was wrong...
Very wrong! It's not fair to Mr. Olsen.
- I'm devastated. - Don't, Egon. I can't stand it.
Will you ever forgive me?
Stop it, Keld. Christ, I'm sorry.
Stop it. It's not fair.
Let him get it off his chest. Wipe the slate clean.
Don't be ashamed to show your emotions. It'll loosen you up.
Children cry too. They confide in the mother.
Little woman, let me shake your hand.
This is the most beautiful...
Hansen, one more round.
- Thank you very much. - Won't you sit down?
Thank you.
- On the tab? - What? Yes...
- I never had a father. - I'm so sorry.
I never had a mother either. A real mother.
- You must have had a rough life. - I'm so glad I met you.
Cheers.
Hansen, once more.
Explosives aren't for idiots, you know.
You have to concentrate, you see. Miss Hansen...
Call me Bodil, please. All of you.
- Benny. Nice to meet you. - Keld. Thank you.
- Egon. - Cheers, Egon.
It's dangerous too. Look at this.
- How did that happen? - The cremation society.
The cremation... But how?
The safe... was made of armored steel.
A difficult task. And dangerous.
- But how did it happen? - I'll tell you.
- It's way back in... - '62, right?
You worked as a delivery boy and got busted for stealing stamps.
- What do you mean? - It was in 1962.
- Do you mean to imply... - You stole stamps worth 162 kroner.
- It's no safe but... - Are you calling me a liar?
You call yourself my brother?
Here I am, an orphan, called a liar by my own brother!
- Come on, Harry. - Yes, cheer up.
- I carry a heavy burden, Miss. - Sit down.
Don't mind me. I'll go my own way.
- I'm no good anymore. - Harry!
Bastards.
- How could you? - But it's true.
Why remind him?
1962. The same year Egon got busted for doping and killing a racehorse.
- You never told me. - It's a lie!
- A Swede threw Keld in the canal. - He wasn't Swedish, just drunk.
Benny, shame on you. How can you humiliate your friends like this?
- But it's true. - You disappoint me, backstabber!
- Filling her with lies. - You're very anti-social.
We've had enough, Benny!
- What do you mean? - Our ways will have to part.
- You can't be serious. - We're going in different directions.
- Bravo, Egon! - But I want to be reso... cilized too.
- Resolicazed. - No, resilosaced.
- Right, resilosacized. - Resilocasized.
- Realifisociazed. - Yes.
Don't worry, Benny. You'll be resolopiasized.
Miss Hansen, what are you doing?
I'm re... resocializing.
That's it!
It's been a very interesting night. One must study the environment.
Aren't you taking your studies too far?
- It's so sweet of you to pick me up. - Yes, well. The boss called me.
I may be in for a promotion.
So I thought I might... get married.
Great, I love weddings. Would you like to marry me?
- Of course! - Let's do it now. I want it now!
But, Miss Hansen!
You're not being very nice, officer. We're getting married.
- I'm very sorry. Miss Hansen! - Please step out, sir.
Of course.
- Look, I'm Sergeant Mortensen. - That only makes it worse.
- We have to do a breathalyser test. - But you don't think I'm..?
- Here. Please blow. - I'm blowing.
NORTH AMERICAN CRIMINALS BIG
- Good morning, Bodil. - Good morning, Mr.. Mortensen.
- William. - Right.
- I'm going to see the boss now. - Good luck.
Thank you for last night. It was beautiful.
Mr. Mortensen, forgive me for embarrassing you like that.
I didn't mean any of it. I just got a grant, so I'm going to America.
I'm going to do my thesis there. I'll be off, and we'll forget everything.
Please don't be angry with me. It's very sweet of you.
Don't forget your meeting. Good morning, Mr. Mortensen.
Good morning... Miss Hansen.
Serafimo "Spats" Motzarella. Born 29 Nov 1898 in Messina.
Presumed leader of "Unione Siciliana".
Suspected of bootlegging, drug dealing, prostitution and murder.
Wanted for tax arrears in Florida, 162 dollars.
Distinctive marks: Wears spats and has a fondness of chamber music.
THE ROYAL CLEANING COMPANY
I don't know. I don't like ex-cons.
You're required to by law.
I know. But why us? Just because we're a government institution.
What do you want me to do with thieves and robbers?
- They aren't robbers. - They already got fired once.
I can vouch for them. They're arduous and... hard-working.
Did you do the bank robbery in Mitsegade?
Then I have just the thing for you.
THE DANISH NATIONAL BANK
So you're the new ones? You can start in a moment.
Christ, Egon!
Remember, hands off!
- Do it properly, okay? - Will do.
Egon.
- Bloody smart, Egon. - We have to report it.
- What the hell are you doing? - It wasn't us.
- There's been a robbery. - Don't move!
No, listen to us. Let us out!
It wasn't us, you fool! Let us out!
Hey! Stop.
- What are we gonna do? - They think we did it.
- But we saw them. - They took some bags. No cash.
They were pros. We have to find them. It's our only chance.
- We have to return the loot. - But where is it?
What would we do in their place?
- Go to the airport and take off. - Bloody good. We need a car.
It looks like the Olsen Gang. Besides, they were the only ones here.
It's outrageous! What will the Prime Minister say?
This case must be solved at all costs! I'll personally lead the investigation.
Close off all airports and harbors. But be discreet.
What's it all about, sir?
- Piece of cake! - Good work. We haven't lost it.
What have you been up to now, Mr. Olsen?
You took off on your first day. The inspector is very angry.
- But we didn't... - The bank was robbed. Not by me!
I can explain everything. While we were working the bank was robbed.
- The National Bank? - Yes. Two frogmen held us up...
Then three more came who took some bags and put them in a cello case.
They disappeared, but we followed them and snatched the cello case.
- At the airport. - Do you expect me to believe that?
I haven't heard anything about a bank robbery.
We have the case right here. Look.
Hang on.
Don't bother. Mr. Olsen, I'm worried about you.
- But I didn't... - You have to be examined.
Come up to my office at 2, and I'll arrange a mental examination.
I hope we don't have to commit you.
Do as I say, Mr. Olsen. And don't let me down again.
What now? It's payday tomorrow.
- Are you going to a shrink, Egon? - No, I won't do it! It's not fair.
- What are we gonna do? - It's a miscarriage of justice!
We have to clear ourselves. I'm going to call the chief of police.
Bloody good, Egon.
- The police. - Egon Olsen speaking... Olsen.
O-L-S-E-N, yes. Egon. I want to speak to the... Pardon?
I want to talk to... Yes, in Copenhagen. Give me the Chief.
It's about the National Bank robbery.
- A caller about the National Bank. - Put him through.
Hello, this is the Chief speaking. I see.
The National Bank? I'm sorry, there's been no robbery there.
Impossible, we would have heard about it.
A cello case? If it doesn't belong to you, deliver it at the Lost and Found.
Opening hours are 9-11 am, 2-5 pm, and on Thursdays 5-7 pm. Goodbye.
Trace the call. Get Mortensen.
- What did he say? - It's not true.
They don't know anything about a robbery.
- But we were there. - Give the case to the Lost and Found.
Well, what's in it?
- The Crown Jewels? - Yes. At the palace are only copies.
Sit down. Our country is in serious financial trouble.
It's worse than the public knows. To prevent a state bankruptcy, -
- the government has decided to sell the Crown Jewels. This is top secret.
- The robbers took the real jewels. - The Olsen Gang!
Arrest them immediately. But not for the bank robbery.
- Find some charge to pin on them. - Very well, sir.
Our orders come from the highest level.
The King trusts the Prime Minister who trusts the Minister of Justice -
- who trusts me, and I in turn trust you. May God be with us.
Junk! Don't you have a crowbar?
I don't want any more of my stuff ruined.
- Let's take it to Harry's. - Let's turn it in.
- Where? - At the Lost and Found.
- They deny the robbery took place. - But the frogmen, the guns?
- I don't know. - Maybe we imagined it.
Let's just turn it in and go to work tomorrow as usual.
If we just forget it, everything will be fine.
What on earth..?
They took the case!
- You're under arrest. - No. The robbery didn't take place.
I'm not talking about a robbery. I know nothing about a robbery.
- You're just under arrest. - On what charge?
Being drunk and disorderly. Got you there, eh?
Can I take my jacket?
Stop, in the name of the Crown!
- They went that way! - Good, Borge. After them.
- There they are. - Don't let them spot us.
- The gun shot 12 shots a second. - Mortensen is after us.
After them!
- What are we gonna do? - Don't worry.
- There. - Well done.
Mortensen here. I had an accident.
They shot at me. They're heavily armed.
Of course. The Minister and... hush-hush.
Thank you, sir. A new car. I'll get them, sir.
- Suite 917. - Right, run along home then.
- I wanna catch them. It's not fair. - Do as Egon says.
Mom will be worried. I'll give you the bus fare.
- Have you got any change?
We need a plan.
STAIRWAY
LINEN
Hello, I'm the young girl...
- High time! - It's hard to make a bed.
What kept you?
- They took your car. - Just hurry up!
Quick, after them!
- Help! - Can't this thing go any faster?
- What now? - They stopped.
- Was there any gas left? - I just got a few Iitres.
- When? - It was...
- I wanna go home to my family! - Alright.
DEBT-COLLECTING OFFICE
- Come along, Keld. - Are you going home?
- Hello, son. - Got any cash?
Don't go up there if you're broke. They're collecting everything.
- I'm not going up there then. - The welfare lady stopped by.
- Miss Hansen? - She was just as mad.
Are the police after you as usual? Then get moving, the cop's coming.
Hello, little boy.
Would you like some candy?
- How's your dad? - Not good.
- Do you know where he is? - In jail or in Australia.
Would you like another one? Seen Egon Olsen and Benny lately?
Who? You mean the little bow-legged guy?
- With the stupid hat? - Exactly. Have the whole bag.
- And Benny? - The crazy guy with the silly look?
- Exactly. - Egon and Benny?
- Never heard of them. - Sure?
- Got any more candy? - You got the whole bag.
Mom, a pervert!
A pervert!
- What are we gonna do? - A round of beer, Hansen.
No way. I'm not serving you.
- Go away and take that with you. - You can't be serious.
Leave at once. I don't want any trouble, go away!
- Hansen, I won't forget this. - Get out!
No, not again!
Let's take a break. It's heavy. We'll never get it open.
- We tried everything. - Let's just turn ourselves in.
Never!
They think we're criminals. That case contains the evidence to clear us.
- We must get it open. - Sure, bloody good, Egon.
- I want a hot dog. - Shut up! Blast, that damned case.
Harry!
There must be a bottle left.
Just a tiny, lukewarm beer.
What the hell are you doing here?
- Hi, Harry. - Did you take my beer?
- Egon has a job for you. - Where's the beer?
It's a very special job. Not that one!
- We need an expert. - This case calls for a sober expert!
Egon's right. Remember last time.
- Pull yourself together! - But they're armed and dangerous.
- They use live ammunition. - Go get equipped then.
Get them. The Prime Minister's very worried about the exchange balance.
- I'll do my best. - Your best isn't all that good.
- Hello, Mr. Mortensen. - Hello.
- Are you well? - Fine, thanks.
Have you seen Egon Olsen? He didn't show up for the examination.
He babbled on about a robbery and frogmen. He seemed very disturbed.
- Do you know anything about him? - Why do you think I look like this?
- I wondered about that. - Your Mr. Olsen is a psychopath!
Maybe due to excessive resocializing. He took a shot at me.
But I'll show him.
Don't worry about me. I'm only putting my life at stake.
Goodbye, Miss Hansen.
Goodbye.
Did you want information about Mr. Motzarella? This just came in.
Dragging me off to work without letting me drink breakfast.
- Just blast the case open. - But it's illegal.
Keld, wake up. He's out like a light.
It's inhuman.
- Are you sure it's enough? - Harry knows what he's doing.
Who's the expert around here? Explosives call for precise dosage.
Here we go. Careful!
Just put it there. Be careful.
Keep a distance of 200 yards.
Go that way. At least 200 yards. We don't want any accidents.
Stop! That'll do. I'll just connect it.
Bang, it'll go bang.
- Right, stick these in your ears. - Hurry up!
Hurry up!
All set.
No, Keld!
Keld, come on!
Ready.
- Come on! - Easy. I could do with a beer.
- Come on, Harry. - In a moment.
Come on, you drunk!
Coming. Is it dinnertime?
"Expert"? Lousy amateur!
Harry... Where are you going?
Mr. Olsen, thank God I found you. Everything's gonna be all right.
This is Mr. Serafimo from America. He robbed the National Bank.
We're turning it in to the police.
Mr. Serafimo realized that crime doesn't pay.
It's so fascinating. I'm so happy!
Harry Frandsen, you're no good.
You're a drunk. A lousy amateur!
Nobody likes you. What's the use anyway?
Goodbye, Harry.
Harry will show them all!
Goodbye, bastards.
Hi, Harry.
No, don't!
What the hell? It's beer.
There you are, dear. I'm so happy to see you.
We missed you so. Come and sit down, you must be exhausted.
Borge, get a beer for Dad in the frig.
A cold one. Let me put on your slippers.
But how?
- That nice welfare lady came by. - Egon's flame.
She fixed it so we get grants for rent, firewood, insurance and milk, -
- and if you'll agree to be examined, we'll get a disability pension, too.
And then we can buy a car.
No, not again! Please go away.
Calm down, Hansen. You've got nothing to be afraid of.
Everything's worked out. We're safe now.
In the name of the Crown...
- What ever's got into you? - You're under arrest.
No, I didn't rob the National Bank.
I don't know anything about a robbery.
- You're just under arrest. - On what charge?
What charge?
I'll tell you.
Car theft, dangerous driving, -
- violation of articles 17, 19, 23, 24, 25, 26, and 32 of the Highway Code.
Burglary and illegal handling of fireworks and explosives.
English subtitles: Helle Skov Kristiansen -SDI Media